Monday, November 14, 2011

Today, blog a thon

Loool i have spent  the day resting listening to my mom have a good ole time with my active 3yr old. Its funny at times he will get mad cause she tells him to pick up the toys, then he says "I HATE YOU"  she would say that doesn't phase me boy, i head it at least 3x a day from your mommy..... then after 10 mins its "I love you".... I have learned when he says that to me i will tell him, well I love you, then its a shouting match of he hate me and i love him till he gets it out and come to me says mother i love you, really best words to hear......

I am focusing on Turkey Trot #Giveaway Hop. I love the hops that i can go from one page to the next.  I have got alot down that now i don't have to gfc everyone cause i already have or email them. My next goal is to start a blog roll of my own of who I follow on Twitter, Fb GFC, Network blog.... I have an Idea I will find a elec FREE roladex to store all that i have.

So all i have been doing is resting when i want to get up and jump around and be active but nope.... This week will be crazy i know i have court on 16th,17th and 21st and 22nd...... I'm trying to be positive and outgoing. I wish all this was over and DH is gone from our lives so we can move on.

I am ready to start a new life of my own... the one where i am the head of the household not some man....In the same time I'm afraid to fall, but as long as I keep my eye ahead and upwards, my heart in faith i will be ok.......

Be who you are and say what you feel because those who mind don't matter and those who matter don't mind - Dr Sessus

Sunday, November 13, 2011


Today is Nov 13 I have been out of the Hosp since Friday afternoon. I knew I was going to be in pain but didn’t think this much. I thought I would start my blog again. So let me re start by saying I am a Muslim woman.  My Blog is meant for me to vent, not to hurt or harm just to get the stuff from my head. Some of its nice and some not.

So today its been rough the pain its over whelming I can’t get out of the bed I can’t comfortable in the bed. My mom has been helping me as much as she can but its hard she isn’t in the best health herself and she was in a car wreack that totaled her car. I have guilt over that cause she came here to me.

I also sit her being very angry that my DH (Soon to be x) caused this injury and he gets to play free.  I know he is going with courts but he can walk, and he has money and he has “our” friends support. Mainly because of the community that we live in, me being white he being Arab and well im to keep my mouth shut and stand alone……

Hahahaha! That wont happen, I am a white redneck southern woman my mouth is big. It’s the one good thing I got from my mom I guess. All around me say I should not air our dirtiness and I have been trying but im sick of the pats on the back he gets. And well I get to be lonely. Its ok cause I truly believe in karma and that Allah/God will give some one their due….. well I guess its time to go for a while I think the meds are kicking in again. Kids went to a theme park to have fun so the house is quiet I should sleep….

I have gotten back in to my blog sweepstakes again so im happy hope I win a few laters

Sunday, October 2, 2011

where to start my vent and rage.

I am so upset i will sit and write more later im going thru a bad divorce found out somethings this week im so upset.

Thursday, August 11, 2011

so much drama.

i don:t think i have anyone who reads but a few peeps . so right now my post will be spradic . So only news is DH is out of the hm  for a while. i have such mixed feelings for this. i broke my leg, its on the left same side of the foot that i keep breaking.......... the end

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

New Age Mama and her sleep giveaway !!!!!

I am really looking forward to this giveaway From New Age Mama about the Sound Sleep Therapy machine its something I need I have such bad sleep habits and need something better to sleep to then drugging myself with tons of meds you can go to New Age Mama’s blog and lean more about the Product and the giveaway

Tuesday, July 12, 2011


Well ok update

Jul 4th we had the counseling and it went good, then afterwards went watch fireworks with the kids.

Jul 5-6 there was nothing really it was hot so I stayed in the house

7th was my birthday I was sad because my mom didn’t call me. However my dad He posted on my FB way telling me happy birthday. Had a fight with Dh as usual and had a cake joy to me I’m 35. Ok so I am not having the time of my life. This time of July I get very depressed and anti social with everything

Jul 8,9, was nothing but helping Dh with homework and laying in the bed.

July 10, this was the day that my daughter Gabby was born she would have been 11. Its hard Not knowing what that little life would have grown into. To top it all even I know that I don’t need more kids, and I’m still iffy  at wanting more but I’m hitting that I want a baby again. My health I shouldn’t, and DH he doesn’t want more. But to have a little girl…… yea so that’s been the depression of my week. I find my self dreaming and crying about it I feel so stupid and I dare not share it.  All my friends are having babies and my bro is due in a week for him and his gf to have their girl.

I did win a prize from Easy Daysies

Which made my day I can’t wait to get it I’m so excited to see it I really wanted it. It’s a magnet type planner that helps your kids keep on top of things.

Jul 11 was spent in the bed also with a migraine. I wish that I could just have a day where I’m not tired or in pain or depressed.

Today July 12 My mother in law got here this evening she was 4hrs late at meeting us after the stupid international part kept her for 4hrs. I know it wasn’t just here it was said it was crazy there so I know I guess. Waiting in an Airport with two kids isn’t fun for 5 hrs then we all were starved lool . We got Subway went home and here I am now typing . I am glad she is here I truly missed her I tell my DH all the time I love her more that I love you…… to be honest its true I love and have the greatest mother in law thank God

Ok now I will go help her unpack and maybe go to bed

Life is simple, it's just not easy.

Sunday, July 3, 2011

movies and movies, movies

So today i spent helping DH with his homework. The kids went swiming.  Then I went to get movies for free with blockbuster from some codes that I got from

Budget Savvy Diva!+Mail
they end on July 8th

I don't have much to say. Im just not in the best of moods. Joy for me. 
Tomorrow might be a good day god willing I hope. Me and DH start marriage counseling. I am not putting much hope in it, I know i should, but truly in my heart its not there. 
I am a tad worried of my friend that she has had surgery she is in my heart and thoughts. 
Well off to watch the movies. 
A Friend is someone who understands your past, believes in your future, and accepts you just the way 
you are

giveaway being sponsored by one2try and New Age Momma and Three60 Gear

I entered in to the giveaway being sponsored by one2try and New Age Momma and Three60 Gear I hope to win this for my son I hope to get the La Lakers shirt with Kobe Bryant

enter to get yours

Friday, July 1, 2011


Ok so this will be short. I went to the doc today and seems i have hit a set back in recovery. I might have undone my achilles tendon surgery and reruputered it. Oh Joy to me!!!!! DH is pissed because I have to stay longer in a wheelchair. It is said that Our religion talk about everything coming from Allah and that its a test as long as we stay steadfast and not question why. However he holds it.  It has tore us more and more apart. He hates that I am sick more then I do and its me thats sick.

Well blogging I am doing the kindle giveaway, the Knook giveaway and the skinz by ( which i hope to win) I will add the websites later when I compiled them and the dates.


Never judge a book by it's cover. It's the content that matters. Read and understand it, and estimate it's worth, with your own judgment.

Thursday, June 30, 2011

Captial T

I have no title as of yet for this post maybe something will come up. Yesterday was a rushed day. I woke up to Y2 having pain. I took him to the ER cause he couldn’t put pressure on his foot it scarred the hell put of me at the same time I wanted to cry for my baby. This child it your active 2yr old he doesn’t stop from morning till night. I call him my evil love. All of my family asked that I would have a child that would be just like me and for 17 years it seemed that it would pass me loool. Then almost 3yrs ago Allah blessed me with this beautiful child. From day one he was the pain in my side literally. I was having pains with him at 22 weeks that went to his 35 week then he wanted to come out loooool but he was to cause me stress in his entrance in to the world. As I laid in the bed with DH stressing me out. I was in so much pain and the drugs didn’t help they were speeding up his birth but at the same time giving me meds to protect him from Group B strep that I have so we had to make sure I got enough antibiotics on so that he would be safe. It was all a waste. He wanted to make sure I knew that he was going to be my outstanding child. So he went and got the cord wrapped around his neck cause he couldn’t wait. So I was rushed to have a C-section. At this time drugs were kicking in so bad that I was so scarred I wanted to see him I was crying and asking Allah to keep him safe. I remember feeling tugging but not much else, then the doctor pulled him out and I think I saw him then passed out I’m not sure the next thing I woke I was in recovery room and then seeing DH and a Nurse there. The told me what happen and then I went back out and woke in my own hot hot hot room. I remember that they even brought me a fan it was so hot in there. I tried feeding this boy breast milk but he wanted to be active and not suck for to long so my milk wouldn’t come in. I pumped and allsorts of stuff. Looking back over this make me laugh.  He was taken to NICU because he was severely jaundiced. So he lived his 1st week in the spot light and has never left them looool He has to be in everything if some one is talking to another he screams until we talk to him. Even, that he is trouble, he is very much my love as all my kids are. He bits, kicks, screams, scratches and makes sure you know him. He goes around saying you’re my best friend. He will tell you he hates everything and loves everything loool. In the morning he gets up comes to my bed and loves on me he loves to touch that soft part under your arm almost to tickle you.  He is my trouble with a capital T.

I talk to a friend for about an hour that I haven’t seen in forever. She has been in hell and back. We talked like nothing has changed and that we aren’t miles apart. I miss her a lot she had a big place in my heart, and I’m sure I did her wrong by not seeing she was a true friend. I am sorry for that, but glad to have her back in my life. Knowing that she hold that special place still and I love her alot she is my family.

To end that day I went to soccer then for a walk with the kids I enjoy the night I should be a vampire loool 

On to thur so far its not good I have this migraine and tad little depressed. I will end it there

"We may not live in the past, But the past lives in us."

Tuesday, June 28, 2011

Pain of a new day With lots of ventting

Ok so I have been MIA for a few days. DH and I had our weekend drama. We fight we make up, then wait for the next weekend. I hope this will be different this time God willing. I thought in marriage it’s two who make the effort. I know I should be a big girl and make the step forward but I don't want to be, I don't want to move inless he is. Yes I know this is childish but what the HELL. I have turned into another person I have changed alot and then for DH to tell me if you go 1st I will follow, are we playing follower the leader here?

OK enough of that next page.

Sat night I was driving and some guy came out of no where and hit me. I ok i was shaken he hit me so hard that spun me around. I stopped when I hit a trailer that carries a car. Luckily that it did little damage. Then on Sunday I fell, I was outside after a fight with DH again and I hurt myself busted my knee and twisted my bad foot (left one). I haven't been able to get around at all now im back to the start. It’s depressing in a way. 

I got alot of calls out of the way and biz has been done I hope. I just wish that I knew how to make up my mind in which way I want to go. I keep in the same place never moving im scared of change. I need it God do I need it but in my heart I have yet to want it. How can I change that?
I might post pictures if i get to taking them then up loading them thank you

When I die, I want to go peacefully like my Grandfather did, in his sleep -- not screaming, like the passengers in his car.

Saturday, June 25, 2011

Blog Bash 2011

ok omg i have spent so much time getting in to the blog bash 2011, there is so much to do tweet this follow this and that and 5 more, then like about 8 things, I know that peeps are hating my FB right now with all the stuff on there but i better win something looool it 3:30 am and I'm going to sleep i started on this yesterday and its what got me to blog, I want to go back there is so much to get win and try sample free and win and free oh did i say tweet, like and look buy and omg I'm going crazy i know ok so here is the list of dones if there is * it means i have more work to do but got a little bored from but ok I'm going to get all of them........


* to much
so far the easiest and simply best


I'm to tired for saying so nite nite

Friday, June 24, 2011

Laughing up the night

Last night was just a ball with my kids. So we came back from washing the clothes. I asked C15, where is my boot for my food, he pointed to the cabinet  and said under there. I took a pause and said under where, he looks at me and the way he said it sounded like underwear, he looks at me and says mom did you just say that so I would say underwear, then we started laughing for a good 10 mins, by the way we were folding clothes.  Ok so maybe that wasn't so funny now that I jot it down.  The baby who is 2years old, Y2 he is being potty trained, and this boy says the funniest things.  Ok so I put him on the potty and he told me he had to caca so I said ok, so we are waiting and as he is sitting there the pulls up his male parts to his tummy point to his bottom he says mommy caca in butt right here..... Points and says you see, caca lost, omg I about fell out of m wheelchair from laughing, all the while I’m trying to tell him not to touch his parts and happens to be that my daughter N17 was in the other part of the bathroom where the sink is and we are just laughing and laughing omg lst night was so funny. How as a mom can you get on to your child for maybe doing something that he should and your laughing.

So as of right now I have been up since 10 am. I don't sleep well in the night I know it was past 3:30 before I went to sleep. S7 said to me this morning mom, Y7 is my bffl and mommy you are my bffl ( best friend for life) that’s what i woke to. I love when they are sweet, then they fully wake up and the turn to their mean, fighting between themselves over every toy, movie, object uff!

Well i guess it off the blogbash 2011 loool I’m crazy!


I have the cutest most random alarm ever! It's settings include: Mom I'm hungry, Mom I gotta poop, Mom where is the remote, and my favorite Mom are you asleep!?

Thursday, June 23, 2011

1st day

Since I spend most of my time in my bed resting from foot surgery and fibromyalgia I thought that I would just blog about days of pain, triumphs, falls, trips and everyday stuff. This is for me alone at time it will be happy at time sad, and many may see depressing. I can not spell, and most of my stuff is random. I might post once a day or couple times a day and even skip. I am not here for anyone to poke fun at but just to get over not being about to talk to anyone.

Little about myself I am a mom, I have for kids 3 boys which are 2yrs,7yrs and 15 yrs, and one beautiful drama princess who is 17yrs old. I am married..... I stay at home but I do get out to drive kids to the places they need to go or something like that. Oh and to top it off, I am a MUSLIM, omg that felt good to say lool. It was almost like a 12step program to say that. Yes I cover, its called a hijab its a scarf thing on my head that I put on when i go out of my home, and no I don’t sleep in it or wear it in the shower. Islam is a big part of my life as in it my way of life, but I will not condemn you for being a heathen...... I always wanted to say that loool ok its bad joke, to be Honest I don’t care who you follow. It can be anyone for all I care as long as you allow my freedom to choose Allah and not make fun of what I do. I have many friends, of many faith and some who have no faith. Ok so now that the elephant is out of the room, on to what is today

I have been on the computer getting in to sweepstakes, what the hell I’m in bed have the computer and time let me win something, right? I hope so. I have to go soon because it is wash day, I take my older son C15 (1st letter in his name and his age) he helps me why N17 my daughter she baby-sits..... Washing for a house of 6 is to much but since I’m in an apartment with no washer and dryer in house, and the one provided by the apt is 1.75 sorry got to load the van, and wash the 15 loads that pile up over 2weeks at the laundry mat, but its a clean place. Well that the store for now and i am sticking to it looool ok Quote for this post is;

Everybody thinks every girl's dream is to find the perfect guy... pshhh, every girl's dream is to eat without getting fat!